Friday, March 26, 2010

a work of heart

Spring break has come and gone and so has the week after. Here we are at the end of March, already. It's crazy to think of how fast the days, weeks and months seem to go, when looking back. Some days seem to drag on and on but before you know it you aren't thinking back about that day but the month or the week that has gone by - in a flash.

Every day I find myself smiling a little more, relaxing and going with the flow a little easier and a little less surprised at the kinks that arise (and oh lordy, have there been some kinks - just sayin'). The kinks get ironed out slowly and leave behind just a few wrinkles. These wrinkles will probably always be on my heart but thank goodness the heart is an organ that heals. I am aware of this, as my heart has been broken through deaths, through disappointing those that mean the most to me and through this divorce. But, my heart is on the mend ... I can feel it.

Jared and I sat and had a heart to heart talk the other night and thank goodness he can be calm in my storm because it could have been ugly. He had to bring me back around - out of my anger and out of my selfish will. This was not an easy task, but he managed. The kids were here because I felt that it was so important for them to see that their mom and dad could still sit and have a peaceful conversation together. Heartbreakingly, Ashlyn presented us with a picture of the three of us - her in the middle - holding both of our hands. It's a simple reminder that no matter what happens, Jared and I share three very special blessings that nothing or no one can ever take away from us.

In this talk, we decided that it is time to sell the house and leave the bad memories behind us. It was wishful thinking, I guess, to think that we could live this way. It's just not a "home" anymore. Neither of us have felt comfortable with the situation so selling is inevitable. It's a little scary to look to the future with uncertainty as to where I will go and many other unanswered questions, but I know who holds the future and that is certain enough for me. After all, this is our temporary home.

I can feel the power of prayer as so many of you have told me that you are praying for me. I have such a peace that I know can only come from Him. Thank you for loving me and thank you for being such great friends. Thanks for helping me turn my frown upside down!

Sunday, March 14, 2010


A whole month with no blogging. You'd think I was busy raising three kids, teaching school, taking pictures and adjusting to what has become my life. Oh, wait - I have been involved in all of those things and I don't see a break in any of the action (except for this week which is spring break 2010).

On the home front, it has been a bumpy ride. Most days are good but there are days when I am overcome with sadness, anger and bitterness. A mixture of all three emotions on one day is never good. I have been forced to face things that I am not ready for, dealing with what's in writing and what can be agreed upon has been challenging and decisions that need to be made - that I honestly am not ready to make - are on the horizon. But, I have a strong support system and am thankful for the friends and family that have not given up on me eventually getting back to normal. I am getting there, one day at a time. But, some days it's a two step forward and one step back kind of dance.

Baseball season has begun for Clayson and Trey. They are both on the same team so that makes things convenient. Ashlyn is loving basketball. She loves to go to practice and game days are full of her anticipation for getting on the court. She is never still, always moving, hopping, guarding and hands in the air (like she just don't care) to show that she is open and when she does get the ball she accidentally forgets to dribble and runs with it. Oops. Her first game she ended up scoring the first and last goals. We should have carried her out on our shoulder, our lil champion.

It's crazy to think that we are already in the middle of March with just a little over nine weeks of school left until summer. Time flies (cliche, I know). As much as I love the winter, I am glad to see Spring on its way. I am a fair-weather kind of girl so recess always depends on whether it's too hot, too cold or just right. Spring guarantees a daily recess, minus the rainy days.

I hope all of you are adjusting to the time change, the weather changes and whatever life changes you may be dealing with.

I'll be spring breakin' it this week with fun things happenin' every day.