Saturday, February 13, 2010

s*n*o*w much fUn!

SNOW!! It snowed and snowed and snowed ... and snowed. It started early Thursday morning and did not quit until late Thursday night, totaling about a foot of the pretty white stuff. It was so cute to hear Ashlyn's reaction when she first looked out the window and saw it all. She whispered "whoa" twice. I have to say that I was in almost as much amazement as she was.

We spent the day at school watching the snowflakes come down. The kids were anxiously awaiting recess for their chance to play in the snow and have snowball fights. (I noticed during my Science lesson that one boy was drawing a map of where the fight would be and the location for the boys and the girls. This is when I pretty much gave up on teaching for the day. However, it was a great opportunity for discussing the water cycle - especially the word accumulation - and how water changes forms of precipitation. One girl wondered why her pants were wet when she had not gotten into any water, opportunity for a reteach.)

Once we got home from school on Thursday, there was no leaving the house due solely on the fact that I could not get from the end of the driveway onto the road. It was just a total tire spin, getting absolutely nowhere. Upon realizing this, I knew that it meant I would have to back all the way back to the house. The driveway is long, curvy, goes over a pond and my backing up skills are not top notch. It took me thirty minutes and a lot of "close calls" of getting stuck before I finally made it under the carport. And, that is where my car stayed until Friday afternoon.

On Friday - we were out of school. Hooray for snow day! Clayson, Trey and Ashlyn had so much fun playing in the snow. They rode around in the Bad Boy Buggy, Clayson attempted some motorcycling, Ashlyn and Trey made snow angels, Ashlyn, Trey and cousin Andrew made forts to hide behind during snowball fights, all of them pounded me with snowballs, and the boys created a sled out of a tote lid. Ashlyn and Clayson must have been invincible to the cold because they stayed out there for long periods of time while Trey took advantage of having the PS3 to himself. I captured a lot of picture memories and know that we will remember this snow of 2010 forever.

Here's a recap of our fun.

sNoWbAlL fIgHt!! (Thanks Trey for being my back up photographer.)

* ashlyn*
ATV fun
How great is our God?!

Hope you all had a good time and stayed warm.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

end of the road

On February 4, 1994 we were sitting in Art class having a free day, but we had to be doing some kind of art. Because of my love for writing, I decided to write Jared a note - adding color and bubble letters - giving him my phone number, just in case...

On February 4, 2010 I will write Jared a note thanking him for the memories, our three children and for our sixteen years together. It will also be the day that we sign a note ending our thirteen and a half year marriage.

It has been an incredible journey as we have grown up together but unfortunately, we have also grown apart. Nothing significat (affairs or such) caused this decision to be made. It has been a long time coming as we have faced struggles, always just sweeping them under the rug. But, the troubles don't go away under that rug. They tend to build up as have the walls between us.

As Jared has told me several times in the past few weeks as I've questioned this decision, it's just something that we have to go through right now. It is hard to swallow that pride. I wanted to be a success story - yes, we married young - yes, we had kids young - yes, we tried hard to make it work and many times it did - but, yes, it is time for us to end this journey and find happiness within ourselves and for our children's sake.

Because of how hard we worked on having our house built we have decided on a unique situation (although I have heard it compared to John and Kate plus eight). Jared and I will remain living in the house together, coexisting for the sake of our precious kids. It has worked for the past three months and through prayer, patience and peacefulness I hope that it can last as long as possible. Our kids are not having to do any transitioning. We have split custody but the benefit is that we are always around them - I don't feel like I am ever losing my kids and they still feel like they have both parents all the time. I am so thankful for this situation.

So, as we go to court in the morning I expect it to be emotional. It's like a death - a marriage dying - and I will grieve. I have lost weight, I have lost sleep, I have lost someone that I loved but I have not lost hope for the future. I have amazing friends and family. Some have heard me cry and complain for three months but thank goodness they have not given up on me (or blocked my number from their phones). I could not have made it without them and know that there will be tough times ahead and am thankful to have these friends that I can always count on. And, so many facebook friends have been so encouraging and I have appreciated the love and kindness shown here.

I'll end this with our wedding song:
"I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars. He sure knew what He was doin, when He joined these two hearts..." Because our hearts were joined sixteen years ago we have been blessed with Clayson, Trey and Ashlyn and that has made it all worthwhile.